Living With the Stress
by IssaLee
Summary: Usagi lived life as normal- avoid the baka, eat as much as she could possibly fit in her mouth, and fight evil on a daily basis. That is, until she realized the baka wasn't all she thought he was-AND WHY WON'T THAT VOICE SHUT UP! -COMPLETE-
1. The Baka and Odango

Disclaimer: I have talked to my weird neigbor with a ponytail-buns hairdo, prayed with tibetan monks, and wished upon stars, but Sailor Moon will never be mine. This is all I have...

**Chappie 1: The Baka and the Odango**

Careful…careful…. easy does it now….there! Tsukino Usagi sighed as she slipped into the Crown Arcade, avoiding the loud bells in the corner of the doorway. There was no way she would announce her arrival, and so avoided that evil creep who called himself a man…one who, coincidentally, caused her heart to melt and her mouth to water.

_Baka! This is Chiba Mamorou we're talking about! He teases you incessantly every five minutes about various things…your hair for one! _

'Gadzooks! Was that a big word you used back there? Congratulations!'

_Shut up. Aren't you supposed to be that nice, friendly voice in my head that cheers me up when I'm down?_

'Honey, you're too cheery as it is. In fact, it's frightening! You need something to depress you, it's not healthy!'

"Odango, are you just gonna stand there all day and block the door or are you gonna haul yourself up to the counter and order your daily dosage of sugar?"

'Kami in heaven, I think I'm in love!'

Usagi growled. "Go away Mamorou-baka. I'll move when I feel like it, and only when I feel like it." He chuckled, something that made her legs feel slightly weaker (A/N: Doesn't that happen to all of us? drools oh, Mamo-chan!). "Well, Odango, seeing as you feel that way, I guess I'll have to do the moving."

She snorted. "What, the Great Conceited Chiba Jerk has decided to finally grovel at my feet?" Mamorou grinned impishly, and she struggled to keep the blush from rising in her cheeks. "Not at all, Odango. I have another plan."

And with nary a word of warning, he grasped her firmly by the wrists and drew her towards him. Shock caused her to remain immobile as he lifted her up, bridal style, and turned around. She said nothing, lost as she was in his eyes, as he walked over to the counter, and deposited her gently on a stool. "See now, Odango? That wasn't so bad!" And with a wink he sauntered back to the door. Usagi stared at his retreating back until he wad out of sight before she collected herself.

"My name is U-SA-GI! Usagi, baka, not some food you eat! What kind of sadistic pleasure do you get from doing this?" And fuming, she turned around.

Furuhata Motoki grinned at her. "Kind of late there, eh Usa?" She glared at him. "Just get me a shake, Motoki, before I do to you what I was gonna do to him!"

"My, my, Odango, a bit violent are we?" the violet eyes of Hino Rei, her best friend, smirked at her. Behind her stood Aino Minako, an almost replica of Usagi. Then there was Kino Makoto, smiling jovially. Mizuno Ami stood with her head tilted slightly to the side, looking rather superior (A/N: Doesn't she? I mean, she is the smartest one of the group, and she sure as heck knows it!).

Usagi covered her eyes with a slim hand. "It's a conspiracy, isn't it? A way to see which one of you will kill me first!"

'Ooh! Can I get in? I say Mamorou pisses you off but Rei gets first pickings.'

With a frustrated groan, she threw her hands up in the air. Sadly, Motoki had just returned with her milkshake. The sudden movement caused him to draw back, resulting in Usagi's hand hitting the now toppling milkshake, which flew up in the air. With a resounding splat, it landed in Usagi's lap. "EEEK! Motoki!"

The sandy haired man grinned sheepishly. "Er, sorry Usa, but you surprised me!" The blonde turned to face her friends, who were giggling madly. "So you think it's funny, eh?"

'Heh, I think so too!"

"AAARGH!" With a cry she stomped out of the arcade, gaining scared looks from passerbies outside. Mako watched her go. "She seems different."

Rei frowned. "Well, despite the fact that she didn't bawl her eyes out when Motoki dropped the stuff on her, what else has been making her seem different?"

Mina sighed. "Can't you tell? She's in love!" At this, everyone gave her incredulous stares, and she blushed. "Just an idea." She said with a shrug.

Ami smiled. "It's probably a very hard test coming up, that she needs help on!" Mako shook her head. "I bet you someone's bothering her, and she needs to learn how to defend herself!" (A/N: Did anyone besides me see a ridiculous picture of Usa in a karate gi, kicking this kids butt? Picture it, minna!) Rei sniffed. "Obviously she needs some spiritual guidance!" And they stalked off, bickering over what to do.

Mina glanced at Motoki. "I still say she's in love." Motoki nodded. "Hai. And I bet he loves her back, and shows her too." Mina giggled. "Lets make that a money bet! 500 yen says Usa makes the first move!" Motoki winked. "Alright, and 500 says Mamorou does!" To his surprise, Mina seemed unfazed by this fact. She merely smirked. "It took him long enough! Honestly, he's the baka-dono of the century!" Motoki grunted slightly as he retrieved a mop and began to wipe up the spill. "Honto ni?" Mina giggled again. "Honto ni!"

Usagi stomped into Juuban's local park. Her red and frothing face caused babes to cry and mother's to shield their children's eyes. With a slight snarl she flounced over to a bench and sat down. _Stupid baka…_

'Are we talking about you or Motoki?'

_Neither! This is about Mamorou! Kamisama, sometimes I feel like ripping his hair out, others I feel like kissing him until he falls over! Why does he do this to me? Look at me, I'm a wreck! I hate him, and that's the way it should stay! Mamorou no baka and Odango Atama, like a paperback novel!_

'You read those cheap things?'

_Otaku._

'Calm down, a good joke never hurt! Well…what're you going to do about it?'

_I dunno. Ignore him or something._

'You know what you remind me of? A kozaru!'

_What!_

'Yeah, a little monkey! People claim you're smart, but then they realize you're nothing but a flea infested mammal!'

With a cry of rage, Usagi flew up from her bench and tore down the path, letting her feet go as far as they wanted to. Mamorou, who had been walking in the opposite direction, found himself face to face with a very angry Usagi. "Hey Odango, watch out, you might hurt someone!"

Usagi considered her position. Here she was, face to face with the one person who she had moments before, wished to throttle. (A/N: Teehee! As if anyone could ever hurt Mamo-chan…. would they?)

'I say we kill him, chop him into little piece's, bury him under the Crown, then lament his death, marry some other dude, and have 2.3 wonderful kids!'

"Odango? Hello, Earth to Odango Atama? Not that I mind you admiring my devilishly good looks, Odango, but this staring is a bit to much." Usagi abandoned all hope of reasoning something out, and within a single moment she had jumped Mamorou.

Mako, Rei and Ami were searching for Usagi when they hear the screams. Ami glanced at her friends. "A youma attack?"

Rei blinked. "I sense no evil presence. But just to be sure…" In ten seconds flat, Sailors Mercury, Mars and Jupiter were sprinting along the pathway. When they reached the source of the screams, they stopped, dumbfounded.

Usagi had twisted Mamorou's arm, and he was on the verge of tears as he spoke to her. "Usagi, please, that doesn't bend that way!"

She smacked him on the back of his head. "Muahaha! I'm the maniacal Odango now, baka! You hear me? I'm crazy!"

"I don't doubt it," muttered Mercury. Jupiter pressed a few keys on her communicator. "Mina? Yeah, get over here, there's something I don't think you want to miss. No, it's not a youma, but hurry anyways!" In another five minutes, Sailor Venus dropped down from the trees. "What's u" the words died on her lips as she saw the two combatants.

"Usagi! That hurts!" There was a shriek, followed by Usagi's laughter. "Be a man and suck it up, Chiba!" The senshi heard a muffled groan as Usagi hit a, er… tender spot. (A/N: I wanna see Mamo-chan squirm! We don't get enough of that!)

Venus would have joined in with the silent laughs the others were sharing, but she had 500 yen riding on this very same girl to date this very same guy! With a sigh, she hurried over to the fighting two.

"Usagi-chan! Usagi, leave his hair alone!" her cries were repeated over an over as she tried desperately to get the manic girl away. Mercury watched her. "Guys, I feel sorry for her. I think Mamorou-san has had enough pain, let's give him a hand, ok?"

With groans of regret, the three senshi moved to help Venus. Jupiter immediately grabbed onto her friends arms and dragged her a safe distance away. Mars helped the now limping Mamorou to stand, and he watched with a slight twinge of amusement as they berated her. Well, as Venus berated her.

"Usagi-chan, I can't believe you! Beating up this poor, defenseless man!" Venus would have gone on to her next accusation had she not seen Usagi looking past her. Venus spun around, and came face to face with Mamorou, who was suppressing a grin. Jupiter struggled to hold onto Usagi. "And what, may I ask, is so funny?"

Mamorou shook his head. "Arigato for rescuing me from the Odango Atama, but it does make a funny picture to see her seething like that and a sailor senshi screeching at her as if she was her mom." A moment later, Mamorou cowered behind Mars' back as Jupiter and Mercury restrained Usagi and Venus.

Mars smirked, and turned to him. "Now, little man, I suggest you run along."

Let's pause here. Men, as we know, are famous for being extremely thick headed at times. They will do almost anything to preserve their dignity. Thus, Mamorou's next actions.

"I am not a little man. As for you, little girl, you shouldn't run around and play with such dangerous things, like fire. You could get burnt…Pyro." Mars let out a screech that made everyone within a mile cover their ears and run for cover. People ran screaming into their homes, babies wailed inexplicably, dogs and cats ran for cover, heated background music began to play, and Mamorou almost peed his pants. The last thing he remembered was screaming like a little girl before everything went dark.


	2. Of Roses and Of Kissing

Thank you, bunnybunny, and cosmicprincesslight18. You were my only reviews. sigh But because I love this story, I will continue…Enjoy, minna!

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon was once mine…I owned her in several past lives, and I will do so in some future ones. But this one, sadly, is a Moon Princess-less life.

The dark shapes swirled slowly into focus, and Chiba Mamorou rejoined the land of the conscious once more.

"Finally! For a second there I thought I'd have to declare you comatose!"

Mamorou groaned, recognizing the voice. "Motoki? What happened to me?"

His vision grew clearer, and he realized he was in a light blue room. Groggily, he sat up and rubbed at his eyes. Motoki sat next to him, obviously trying not to laugh. Mamorou glared.

"What? I'm half dead and you find that funny?"

The sandy-haired young man shook his head. "No, Mamorou, it's just that…Well, Usagi! And…hahaha!" And he collapsed in a fit of laughter. Mamorou fumed silently until he had calmed down.

"Sorry, Mamorou, but when Usagi turned up yesterday at the Crown, dragging your limp body, I was about to freak out! That is, until her friends came in behind her and told me all about your little encounter. You got beat up, by sweet tempered, carefree Usagi? And then you went and got yourself half-mauled by a teenager in a fuku?" And with that, he cracked up again.

Mamorou felt the flush rising in his cheeks, and tried desperately to keep it down. "Listen, Motoki, don't go and tell anyone else this, onegai! If anyone finds out Odango almost murdered me, I'd be ruined!"

Motoki grinned good-naturedly. "Of course not, Mamorou-san! You're just lucky that they didn't give you any visible bruises; otherwise the hottest bachelor in Tokyo would have to resign from his position! Of course, I'm not so sure about your child rearing possibilities, after what Usagi did." (A/N: For Chibiusa's sake, I sure hope not!)

Ignoring him, Mamorou stood and stretched. He felt around his body, and found a few scars and puffy bruises, but nothing horrible. A sense of relief flooded him, and he thanked the gods that being Tuxedo Kamen came with speedier healing processes. A sudden though occurred to him. If he had been unconscious, and Sailor Moon had needed him…?

"Hey, Motoki, how long have I been out?"

The blonde lounged in his chair. "Well, it took me about an hour to push your mangled dead weight to my apartment, and you've been asleep since last night, so maybe eighteen." Mamorou struggled to keep in the anger threatening to rise. Eighteen hours…But surely he would have felt it? With that thought sustaining him, he sighed and turned to put on his shoes. Motoki watched him, his brow suddenly creased with worry.

"Are you sure you can go out? I mean, Usagi can punch, and a sailor senshi…I'm surprised you weren't a pile of ashes when Mars was done with you!"

Mamorou grimaced. "Iie, Motoki, I'm fine. Gomen for the inconvenience, but I've got to go. I'll check in by the Crown later, if I'm up to it."

Motoki stood and let him through the door. As they walked down the hall, a soft smile made it's way across his face. "Hey, Mamorou-san, guess who came to visit you?"

This stopped Mamorou in his tracks. Someone, come to visit him? "Who?"

Motoki opened the door for him. "Your little Odango. She was so worried about you! I swear, if I hadn't shoved her out of the door, she would have stayed her all night. Ja ne, Mamorou-san!" And he shut the door in the man's face before another word could be said.

Mamorou ran a finger through his ebony locks. (A/N: Wouldn't you love to do that minna? sigh some girls have all the luck, eh Usagi-chan?) Why would Odango come and see him? The girl practically stomped on his poor body, and regretted it only after he could barely breath. Then she wanted to spend a whole night away from home, holding his hand. Not that he minded…His thoughts were interrupted as he ran into someone. Something flashed above his head, and without thinking, he made a grab for it. As he drew his arm back, his face lit up slightly. It was a bouquet of roses, all a deep red.

"Aack! Gomen, gomen, I didn't mean to hit you! Maybe Rei and the baka are right, I am klutzy." Mamorou smiled. He knew that voice.

"Oy, Odango! Do you want to pummel me unconscious a second time or what?"

Usagi looked up, and a heated blush rose on her face. She quickly removed the flowers from his grasp. "Ah, baka, I thought you were still asleep!"

Mamorou flashed a quirky grin in her direction, and her blood began to boil.

'Such insolence! Lets beat him up again, Usa, that was fun!'

"Who're the flowers for, Odango?" He saw the cerulean eyes he so often got lost in widen in shock.

'Quick! They're for a sick cousin…a boyfriend…that guy at the Laundromat with the long hair! Say something, anything!'

"They're for you, baka."

'Oh, Gods, I was assigned to a dumb blonde!'

Mamorou's smile vanished, to be replaced by a stunned look. "For-for me?"

Usagi nodded, and lowered her gaze as she held them out. "I, ah, felt sorry for hurting you, and in a way, it was sort of my fault that Mars used you as a punching bag. So, they're kind of I'm sorry flowers. Gomen, Mamorou-san."

He said nothing, taking the flowers and fingering them. When he spoke, his voice was soft. "Do you know what the red rose symbolizes, Usagi?" She shook her head. "They stand for love."

He had to smile as she turned redder then the roses. "I-I didn't know that! I just thought they were really nice, so I brought them, and" her stammering was cut off abruptly as Mamorou kissed her forehead, gently.

"Gee, thanks Odango. You've made me feel a whole lot better."

And he walked way, leaving her kneeling on the street and gasping like a fish out of water.

Later that night 

"HE WHAT?" Usagi held the phone away from her ear as a frenzied babbling broke out. "Calm down, Minako! It was a kiss on the forehead, no biggie." She brought the phone closer, and heard a few words.

"500 yen…he made the first move…does that count?"

Usagi sighed. "Mina, you're not making any sense!"

The bubbly blondes voice came on quickly. "I've gotta call Andrew really quick. Talk to you later Usa!" There was a click. Usagi stared at the phone in disgust.

"Yeah, Mina, Ja to you too."

She set the phone down and hugged a pillow to herself. Did Mamorou mean anything by the kiss?

'Girl, all I know is we gots us some action! Uh-hmm for sure!'

_But it might have just been a thank you kiss! You know, the sort of thing you give to friends?_

'Sure, and second base is something you do with family."

_Ah, Kuso! Why does he have to be so confusing? We should have a school, where you have teachers to tell you what guys mean when they do certain things._

'It's not like you pay attention in normal school, why is this going to be any different?'

Before Usagi could say anything, the small (A/N: What color are they? Ah, well, let me make a random pick.) bright pink communicator on her nightstand began to beep quickly. With an exasperated sigh, Usagi picked it up.

"Moon here."

Sailor Mars' steaming face appeared onscreen. "Where are you, Odango? We need you at the park, there's a major youma here!"

Jupiter suddenly grabbed the device from Mars' hands. "Yeah, and when mars tried to burn it, it sent out some fire of it's own! And Mars kept going!"

There was a shriek, and Jupiter seemed to be pulled back. Mercury's face appeared suddenly, still calm. "Please, Usagi-chan, if you can make it, get over here as soon as possible ok?" And the screen went blank.

Usagi held back a giggle as she went over to her window. "Moon Cosmic power!" (A/N: Those are her henshin words for the first season, right? I get so confused around there. Help me out, minna!) Sailor Moon transformed with a blaze of light and butterflies, ending with a smile forced on by the adrenaline rush. She quickly pressed a button on the gadget. "V-babe, youma at the park! Meet me there, ok?"

"Gotcha." Mina's smile was lost as she henshined, and Sailor Moon shut off and pocketed the apparatus. With a whoop, she was out of the window.

What Sailor Moon had never, _ever _told any of her friends was how she got to the battle. A silly grin plastered itself on her face as she power-jumped from roof to sidewalk, and vice versa. The air rushing against her face seemed to sweep all her worries away. She arrived at the battle just after Venus, and what she saw made her stop in her tracks.

Hai, minna, kill me now. The suspense is killing you, I know. But just to tell you: I've decided to poke around with Mamo-chan's other identity. Giggle Poor, delusional Mamo-chan! We girls can't play nice forever!


	3. Of Valley Girls and Mirrors

Thank you SOOOOOOO much for the reviews, minna! My heart and my bunny muse are oh-so happy! And you know what, Midnight-Nemesis, it's true! We need more Usa-Mamo Hate/Love action! But, in this chapter, I will pour out all my feelings on Tuxedo Kamen. Sorry, Mamo-chan, but you had it coming!

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon would have been mine. It should have been mine. But it's not. Because of the stupid legal thingies, whatchamacallits, laws.

Usagi had fought more than her share of youmas. They were all, not surprisingly, women in revealing outfits. But that's what you get for being the creation of some male anime director. But never, EVER in her whole career as Sailor Moon had she been prepared for this.

A normal looking girl sat at a bench. Well, normal enough. She seemed to have on more makeup than could be humanly possible.

'Erlack! Doesn't she know there are animal parts in all that? Eew!'

Sailor Moon peered about, and found Venus standing next to her. The senshi of love looked confused.

"Er, we're at the right park right?" Venus fingered her chain nervously.

Sailor Moon nodded. "Maybe the girls beat it and took off. Lemme ask the girl over there." She approached the girl, who looked up. She had deep red hair, almost as red as that icky nail polish you can buy that people wear on Halloween. (A/N: You know the one, right minna? That kind that makes you want to shut your eyes…)

Sailor Moon took a deep breath. "Umm, you wouldn't happen to know if the sailor senshi were here, would you?" The girl giggled. When she spoke, her voice was in that annoyingly high-pitched tone that you get when you swallow helium.

"Like, totally! They were like, right here, and then they like, totally attacked me, then like, ran away after like, I like, defended myself! It was like, so totally embarrassing and like rude!"

Venus and Moon stared, at a loss for words. Venus tried another approach.

"You wouldn't happen to be an evil minion of Beryl's, would you?"

The girl snickered. "Yah, like Beryl-like-sama told me I have to like, totally char you! So like, that's what I'm like, gonna do! Isn't that like, a totally great like, idea? And like, best of all, like, you don't even know I'm like, totally the youma, cuz I'm like, so totally ordinary looking!"

Moon stifled a snort. "If I can guess what your original hair color is, will you go back to Beryl?" She and Venus collapsed in laughter, and the youma blinked. After a moment, she began to turn red.

"Hey, that like, totally deserves, like revenge!" She whipped out an ornate fuzzy pink mirror and pointed it at the two giggling senshi. "This mirror like, sucks up all your like, stupid little attacks, and like, sends them right back!"

And with that, a swirl of fire began to glow inside of the glass. Moon stared for a second. "Hey, Venus, can she do that?" The senshi of love grunted.

"Do I _look_ like Mercury to you?"

"Sailor Moon, MOVE!" Jupiter suddenly jumped from a tree/ She grabbed onto the wrists of the two blondes and pulled them away just as a burst of firepower (no pun intended) came out from the mirror in a blazing heat. Venus smiled weakly.

"Thanks, Mako-chan! That was a close one!"

Moon sat up. "Where're the others?"

Jupiter nodded towards the tree she had come from, and the girls could see Mars jump down and run for them. The raven-haired girl looked at them angrily. "About time you got here! I called you ages ago, Odango, and you're STILL late!"

Jupiter sighed. "This from the girl who gave the youma all that fire."

Mars seemed to go red in the face, and would have surely taken several years off Jupiter's life had not a glowing fireball begin to speed towards them.

"MOVE!" Jupiter shouted. The girls split up and tumbled into separate directions. Jupiter glanced back towards the tree. "Mercury! Have you gotten the weakness yet?"

The blue haired senshi peeked out from the leaves. "Not yet!"

Venus screeched as the youma burnt away a portion of her bow. "You touched Venus-sama's bow! No one touches my bow! VENUS LOVE CHAIN ENCIRCLE!"

The golden hearts surrounded the youma, who merely smirked and pointed her mirror to them. The hearts seemed to hesitate, before turning red and flying to the nearest senshi, Sailor Moon. She stood still in shock, not sure of what to do.

'Move! Yes, left foot, then right, you've been doing this for years now! I don't wanna die! Why couldn't I have gotten the blunette? She's smart! She would have moved!'

Moon closed her eyes as the hearts flew closer, and waited for the shock of pain.

It never came. She opened her eyes and found Tuxedo Kamen staring straight ahead. He landed nimbly by the other senshi, and let her down before turning to the youma.

"How dare you toy with the idea of women? They do not, and never will act that way! For making fun of some of the most important people in the world, I shall never forgive you!"

The youma stared incredulously. "And who like, makes up your lines, Mighty Mask? Some like, cheesy middle-aged dork who like, lives in his like, mother's basement?"

Tuxedo Kamen grew bright red as the senshi snickered. He made one last attempt at keeping his dignity. "Your words will mean nothing when you are dust!"

The youma rolled her eyes. "It's not like you're like, the one like, destroying me!"

Kamen growled and produced a rose. The youma cocked an eyebrow. "What're you like, gonna do? Like PLANT me? Or start a like, garden club? Like, the senshi wear freakin' like, high heels and they like, still like, fight better than you do! And what's with like, the like, hat? Did you like, really like Cat in the like, Hat when you were like, little or something? Like, can you like say, lame?"

The senshi were howling in laughter as Tuxedo Kamen struggled to keep his composure. Mars poked Moon in the back. "Let's get rid of it! It's funny, bit it's also distracted!"

Moon let a small chuckle escape her as she threw her tiara. "Moon Tiara Magic!" the youma didn't even scream. It's last words as it turned to dust were, "And like, that like, outfit! Are you like, coming from like, prom or something?"

Sailor Moon turned to Tuxedo Mask and put a comforting arm on his hand. "It was funny, but no hard feelings, right?" He looked down into her wide blue eyes and melted.

"Right. Ja, Sailor Senshi."

"Ja!" they cried in unison as he flew away. (A/N: Did anyone besides me get an image of Tuxie with wings? Penguin wings?)

The senshi de-transformed, and Usagi checked her watch. "It's only about four-thirty, minna, let's go get some food!" There was a round of agreements, but as the walked off, a noise startled them.

Sailor Mercury jumped down from a tree, waving her computer frantically. "I've got it! I've got it! I know how to kill it!" She stopped and looked around in confusion. "Um, where's the youma?"

Usagi sighed and hooked a hand through the blunette's elbow. "Ami-chan, we need to talk about all that studying you're doing…"

That was good minna! At least, I think so. Next chapter, Usagi and Mamorou…er…well, just read and find out! Sayonara!


	4. Of Trespassing and Plans

Ok, minna, here's the next chapter. Usagi may seem a bit more…ditzy here, but it's for the greater good! (Mamo-chan) And here's the part I hate most:

Disclaimer: I will own Sailor Moon when I become Neo-neo-neo-neo-neo-Queen IssaLee. Until then, I wait.

Midnight-Nemesis: But he's a CUTE excuse for a superhero! 

**Lil-bit-gish: Thanks for that; I was wondering whether or not to keep the voice.**

**Bunnybunny: Don't worry; Usa will help Mamo get out of his slump!**

**Starlit Warrior: Thank you very much! God bless to you too!**

**Nekoinuhanyou: Wow…your Sn's a mouthful. But thank you!**

**Cosmoprincesslight18: Thanks; I was wondering who would get the point. To Usa, then!**

Keishag: Thank you very much! 

Usagi skipped happily into the arcade, with her friends fallowing closely behind. Quickly hopping up to the counter, she waved to Motoki, who approached her with a gleam in his eye.

"Hey there, Usa. A chocolate milkshake for you?"

She nodded happily. "Hai, and a big basket of fries for minna. Oh, and no tea for Ami-chan! We're all gonna have milkshakes! Chocolate for me, orange for Mina, strawberry for Ami, passion fruit for Rei, and avocado mix for Mako!"

The girls smiled at her memory, and filed into a small booth. As Motoki turned to go get their orders, he caught Mina's eye and winked. Inwardly fuming, Mina managed a strained smile.

When she'd called about the roses, there had been a heated argument. Motoki claimed kisses surpassed all other, but Mina had put in that he wouldn't have done so if Usagi hadn't given him the roses. It had ended in a stalemate: but the next time there was an incident, she wasn't so sure she would win.

The blonde furrowed her brow, and thought hard. She'd have to convince Usagi to make the first move, without telling her of the bet. But Usagi was so shy! She'd never ever do such a thing…at least, not without knowing he liked her first. Mina suddenly came out of her stupor in time to realize that her friends were staring at her.

"You ok?" Mako asked. Mina managed an awkward smile.

Usagi wasn't convinced. 'I saw that face. It was the same face you made right before we shaved off half of our eyebrows, and when we TP-ed those teachers houses, and when we---" Mina stopped her tirade with a flustered glare.

"No, Usagi-chan, it was nothing. Just…just thinking is all. What were we talking about?" Rei cast her a suspicious glance, but started up.

"Right, we were saying that we spend way too much time as senshi, and we never have any fun." Usagi nodded.

"I was gonna be late to school, and I didn't want to get a detention, so I henshined and power-jumped there! Luna lectured me about it all day."

Mako agreed. "What's the point of having such awesome powers if you can't have a little bit of fun once in a while?"

Something clicked in Mina's mind as the girls moved onto another subject. Quickly, before she could forget, she cleared her throat. They all turned to her expectantly, and she flushed.

"Well. I just have an idea…" She received several frightened looks and a giggle escaped her. "It's not that bad, minna! We all know Usa like Mamorou, right?" There was a round of hai's, and Usagi blushed. "Well, what if we use our senshi powers to sneak into Mamorou's apartment and see if he likes her too?"

Usagi brightened. "Ooh, can we? Onegai, minna!"

Rei looked thoughtful. "I suppose so…we could tell our parents we're having a sleepover. Afterwards, we could go back to my shrine and actually have one!"

Mako grinned. "Hai, I'll do it. And I'll bring some goodies too."

All eyes turned to Ami, who hid beneath a heavy science book. "Guys, it's breaking and entering!"

Mina pulled the book from her hands. "What did we talk about on the way her, Ami-chan?" The blunette sighed.

"Work is good, but fun is better. Fine, I'll go. But only to the shrine! I'll wait for you back there." The girls shook their heads at their friend's protests, but all further discussion was cut off as the food arrived. Mina smiled to herself.

'Hehe. Perfect.' She was unaware of Usagi's watchful eye.

_I don't like this._

'If she's anything like you, I'd be just as worried.'

_Don't you ever take a break?_

Once you stop thinking. If you look at it that way, I spend more than 2/3 of my time on break!'

_You're a sucky conscience._

'And you, my dear, need a haircut.'

Later that Night, At Tokyo Highrise Apartments 

"Hey! Hey, the door is locked!" Sailor Jupiter's voice cut through the still night air. Sailor Moon shivered.

"Who locks the door of an eighteenth floor balcony!"

Venus shoved her way to the front of the crowded group, and pulled out a hairpin from behind her bow. "Here, I've got it." With a few deft twists of her fingers, the door clicked open.

"How'd you do that?" Moon asked in awe.

Venus shrugged. "When you're the senshi of love, you do a lot of sneaking out and in." Jupiter slid the door open, and just as they made to go in, a voice from the back of the group reached them.

"I don't think we should do this." Mars turned, exasperated.

"Then why did you come, Mercury?" she snapped.

"…"

With that, the senshi stepped into the darkened apartment. Venus quickly found the light switch and flipped it on, sending the senshi into shock. The house was spotless.

"Maybe there's a new youma that cleans things!" whispered Sailor Moon. Mars shook her head. "Odango no baka! C'mon, lets look around for pictures or something." She immediately began to look underneath the couch cushions, and around the surrounding area. Mercury headed for the study, Jupiter checked the closets, Venus went to the bathroom, and Moon visited the kitchen.

"Kamisama!" cried Mars. "There's nothing here!" Jupiter looked over at her, and realized the senshi of fire was peeking under the couch. Jupiter couldn't resist the sly snicker.

"Mars, it's a COUCH! What's supposed to be under there? The only people who keep stuff under their couches are slobs and pyromaniacs…"

Mars glared angrily at her. "Listen, that flamethrower and the boxes of matches and the gasoline were for temple purposes! And I just mean there's no lint here. Who vacuum's under the couch?"

Venus approached them. "Obviously he does. And his bathroom is a spotless black! I mean, everything in there is black marble with gold trim. And it's shining! I could see my face! He must be a neat freak."

Mars snorted. "Or he's OCD. Did you find anything important?"

Venus shrugged. "Nothing besides the essentials." Then her face brightened. "You'll never guess what all hi shampoos and aftershaves and everything are scented like! It's amazing, all one smell!"

"Roses." The senshi glanced at Sailor Moon, who had entered the living room quietly. She blushed at their shocked faces. "Er, I bump into him a lot, I should know! Besides, he really seemed to like the roses I gave him this morning."

Venus giggled. "Usa's a stalker!" The Odango-ed blonde glared but said nothing, just as Mercury entered the room with a dreamy look in her eye.

"He has books! Tons and tons, and there are academic awards all over the walls! He's very smart, and apparently studying to be a doctor, and---"

"Pictures, Mercury, pictures." Interrupted Jupiter. "Did you find any pictures or papers about Usa?" Mercury blushed.

"No, actually. He doesn't have any, not even of himself." At their dejected looks, she thought harder. "Well, there was this one thick photo album. Hold on!" the senshi waited anxiously until Mercury returned, bearing a heavy album only about half filled. They sat on the couch, and flipped through.

"Ooh, it's his high school graduation!" exclaimed Venus. "Look, I can see Motoki in the background with his parents."

"And Unazaki must have taken that picture. See, in the front, there's a chair reflecting her face!" Mercury squinted to get a better look. The girls flipped a page again, and found photos of the arcade opening with a new owner.

Sailor Moon smiled. "I remember that! That was when Furuhata-san passed the arcade onto Motoki! Hey, and look, on the next page, it's a few moths later! This is around the time after Venus came. See, there we are, with Motoki!" The senshi giggled.

Someone had captured a perfect image of Motoki sliding on Usagi's briefcase, and his shakes landing on the heads of the girls. Rei was standing up as her tea fell in her lap, and her face was red. Ami had taken a book to shield her from the oncoming dairy product. Mina was sprawled on the table, trying desperately to avoid Mako, who was covered in a strawberry milkshake, unable to see, and flinging her arms about. Usagi was perched on a booth, falling backwards as Mamorou caught her.

"D'you remember, after Mamorou-san caught Usagi-chan, the shake that fell on his head?" Jupiter said softly. They nodded, and Sailor Moon traced the photo.

"Yeah, and before I knew what I was doing, I put my finger up and took a swipe of it and licked it off. Do you remember his face!" they laughed, then clapped a hand over their mouths. A creaking noise was heard.

"Hide!" murmured Mars. She and Jupiter dove into the hall closet, while Mercury rushed into the study. Venus and Moon looked about desperately, before both of them ran for the kitchen, just as Mamorou exited his room.

"Who's there?" his voice sounded groggy as he made his way through the apartment. The carpet muffled his footsteps as he walked into the bathroom, clicking the light on.

"He's going to check the kitchen next!" hissed Venus. Sailor Moon nodded for the balcony, and they saw Mars, Mercury, and Jupiter standing outside, beckoning to them. They walked carefully, as if on eggshells so that their boots wouldn't clack and make Mamorou aware of their presence.

Halfway through the living room, Sailor Moon sneezed. The senshi froze as the living room light flew on and Mamorou's more alert voice demanded, "Sailor Moon?" Venus nudged her leader, and Moon turned around.

"Hehe, hey there Mamorou-san!" She waved feebly. He eyed her suspiciously.

"How do you know my name?" The senshi sweatdropped.

'Hey there, Mamorou-san, she says. Lets go spread our identities to the world, she says.'

"Shut up," Moon muttered. To Mamorou, she lied. "Er, we saw it on your door!"

_Good save!_

'We wouldn't have had to have been saved if you had kept your big mouth shout!'

Mamorou took a cautious step towards them. "Why are you here? And with the senshi nonetheless?"

"Um…" Sailor Moon's mind raced.

_What do I say?_

'Oh, so now you need my help!'

_Onegai! I'm sorry!_

'I accept your somewhat hurried apology. Now, tell him you thought you saw a youma go in here.'

"There was a youma on the loose and we thought we saw it come in here. Looks like we were wrong!" Moon gaped at Mars, who had suddenly appeared by her side.

'Hey! She stole our line! C'mon Usa, get her! Get her!'

Mamorou flinched at the sight of the fire senshi, and she grinned.

"I should've told you, little man. Don't play with fire; it can hurt!"

'Eew, she can keep her nasty lines!'

Mamorou sighed. "Fine."

Venus shifted to her other foot. "So I guess we'll be going no--" She was cut off as the most painful blast of power any of them had ever experienced hit them all. The last thing she saw before she fell unconscious was a pair of evil, glinting green eyes.

Muahaha! Sorry this chapters not hilarious, but I swear I'll try harder on the next one. My muse seems to be busy…


	5. Of Wall Sucking and Evil Voices

Ok, minna, sorry I took so long. My bunny muse decided it would be a nice time to visit Cuba (pronounce it coo-ba, it sounds so cool that way!) Well, here is my promised chapter!

Disclaimer: Oh yeah…this…what would happen if I didn't write this? If you sue me, you'd get no more than a computer, keyboard, and a whole bunch of Sailor Moon paraphernalia…Ah well. I don't own Sailor Moon. However, someone else does. I do wish to rule the world. That, combined with my hopefully soon to be acquired senshi powers, will compel the owners to let me own Sailor Moon.

'Wake up…Wakey wakey, eggs and bacey!'

_ What?_

'See now? I leave you alone for five minutes and look at what happens to you!'

_ What are you talking about? You left!_

'Remember our earlier conversation on breaks?'

Yeah… 

'Now, do you really think you were thinking back there?'

…

'Exactly. Now open your eyes, and lets find out where we are.'

Sailor Moon did as she was told, and found herself in darkness. She rubbed at her eyes, and sat up cautiously. "Hello?" No one answered, and she panicked.

"Hey, minna? Is there anyone there? Jupiter? Venus? Mars? Mercury? Someone?" She stood, and peered about. Nothing but darkness stared back at her.

'What is _that_?"

At her conscience's mental scream, Moon uttered a loud shriek and ran, bowling headfirst through the darkness.

Suddenly, she hit something hard and fell down. "WAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! That hurt SOOOOOOO much!"

'Well what do you expect, running like an idiot?'

Moon sniffed. _You told me you saw something!_

Her conscience giggled slightly. 'Sorry, darling, I was examining your brain and found a rather repulsive memory of your first pimple. What _was_ that nasty thing on your face?'

Moon made a face. _The pimple._

Without another word, she stood up again and began to run her fingers along the wall.

"Hello? Anybody here?"

Her fingers caught in a crack, and she pushed at it. The door gave way, and she peered inside. More darkness…but there was a bunch of tiny red lights glowing ominously in front of her.

_ Cool, like a runway!_

'Um, Usa, I don't think those are lights--!'

Sailor Moon screeched as dozens of bats began to fly out. Once more she began to run, but this time she removed her tiara from her head and began to attack. "Moon Tiara Magic! Moon TIARA magic! MOON tiara magic! Moon Tiara MAGIC!"

'You know you've missed every one, right?'

"Shut up." Sailor Moon whispered, panting heavily as the bats kept flying away from her. "I hate those things…"

'Really? 'Cause I rather like them, like great furry rats, only bigger…'

"Kamisama do you ever SHUT UP!" she screamed the last words, and her voice echoed all over the room.

"Ah, could you lower your voice please?" Mars' shadowy outline appeared in front of her.

"Oh, Mars! I thought I'd never see you again!" Sailor Moon threw herself against the fire senshi. "And then those bats freaked me out…"

Mars sighed in disgust. "Bats? Listen up, Sailor Moon, I've found someone else, but don't hop into their arms ok?" Moon nodded, and Mars felt around the darkness. She drew a figure forward, and Mamorou emerged unhappily clutching her hand.

Sailor Moon looked him over. "Ok, so, who'd you find?"

Mars' odd look made her nervous. "Stop playing around, I found Mamorou-san!" Moon sat down suddenly.

"Oh Gods, I'm stuck in a dark room with bats, a smartass conscience, and my worst enemies! Could life get any worse?"

Mamorou's confused voice reached her ears. "I'm her worst enemy? I don't even know her!"

"Shut up, both of you!" Mars snapped. "Sailor Moon, where did the bats come from? Do you remember?"

Moon looked around. "Er…no." Then promptly resumed her complaining.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU RIGHT NOW UNLESS YOU DECIDE TO ANSWER ME!" Mars screeched.

'I have no doubt in my mind that she will do it, so I have only one word for you. Run.'

Sailor Moon stood and sprinted as fast as she could.

'Watch for the wall!'

_ How in fiery hell am I am supposed to watch for a wall that I can't see?_

'I dunno! Don't you senshi have a built in radar or something? All those other goddamn powers and you can't see five feet in front of you…'

Sailor Moon slowed up, but started again as she heard high heels clicking behind her.

_ What do you suggest we do now, then?_

'…Let's keep running. When you hit the wall, we'll go from there.'

_ You're NOT helping!_

'I was not made to help, I was made to up the suicide rates.'

"AARGHH—," Sailor Moon's scream of rage was cut off as she hit the door once more. This time, the door swung inward, taking her with it. She hit the ground and rolled over to the back.

Sailor Mars and Mamorou appeared in the doorway. "See, I knew you could do it." Mars told her.

Moon let out a sigh, blowing a strand of hair away from her face as she did so. "I swear, even though I can't see your face I bet you're smirking, you smug—,"

'Language! This fic is rated K!'

Mars walked over and held out her hand. "Come on, you little brat. Let's go find the other's so we can get out of here."

Sailor Moon staggered slightly as she regained her balance. "Ok, lets go. But you CAN'T threaten me anymore. My head really hurts…" She rubbed at the offending appendage. Mars snorted, as if saying she didn't give, but she walked ahead without a word.

Mamorou gave Sailor Moon an unusual look. "You remind of someone…"

Moon giggled nervously. "Really? I get that all the time. Mars, wait for ME!" And she ran down the dark hallway, leaving behind a bewildered Mamorou.

A Half Hour Later, Much further Down the Hall

"Mars, I'm tired, can we rest?" Sailor Moon whined. Mars growled, and Moon recoiled.

"Er, you know what? I think I can go a little longer." She glanced back at Mamorou, who seemed intent on getting out of the dark tunnel.

'Like you should be, you incompetent, dreadful excuse for a senshi!'

Moon stopped, surprised.

_ Where did that come from!_

'Gomen, your brain is rolling about in the empty space in your head…since you're so air-headed, that bouncing noise is really getting on my nerves.'

Sailor Moon sat down on the ground once more. "I hate my life…" She mumbled, as she banged a fist against her head.

"Why…can't you…just shut…up?"

'It's not in my contract to do so…'

Frustrated, Moon pounded her fist against the wall. Surprisingly, it sunk into it, and soon her hand was encased in the rock. She pulled, but it wouldn't come out.

"Mars?" she called.

"What?" Came the irritable answer.

Moon gaped in horror, as the wall seemed to be sucking away at her arm. Up to her elbow, her hand was trapped.

"HELP MEEEEEEEEEE!" Her frightened cry echoed. She planted both feet against the stone and pulled with her other hand.

"Aw, crap!" Her feet too, had sunk into the rock. She hung there, two legs up to her knees and an arm up to her elbow, just as Mars and Mamorou found her.

"What is it?" Mars asked her. As if it was an afterthought, she closed her eyes and held up a hand, palm cupped. A small ball of flame appeared, and floated away from her, next to Moon.

The section of the cavern was now illuminated, and Mars sighed.

"What the hell did you touch?"

Sailor Moon pulled again. "I didn't! I was just sitting and then I punched the wall and—," She was cut off as one arm disappeared quickly and totally. She suddenly found herself with her right side plastered against the wall.

"Mars…" she whimpered, as her right leg disappeared just as quickly. The fire senshi now looked panicked.

"Mamorou, pull at her! Don't let her go in all the way!" Mamorou obeyed, and grabbed onto Sailor Moon around her middle as best as he could. Mars silently order the flame ball closer to Moon, until it was burning at the rock.

Sailor Moon suddenly stiffened. "There's someone pulling on the other side…" she whispered, and her other leg went through.

Mars grasped onto her remaining hand as Moon sunk slowly deeper. She let go suddenly as Sailor Moon conjured up the Moon Scepter. She hacked at the wall as best as she could, but then something from the rock, what seemed to be a hand loomed up and grabbed her remaining hand.

She screamed in horror and pain as it was twisted back, and tears filled her eyes. Mars and Mamorou hit the other wall hard, and sat up in time to see Sailor Moon's head slowly going through.

Mamorou surged forward and grabbed onto the fallen scepter. He hacked at the wall in frenzy, but it was obvious it wasn't going to do anything. When he stopped, panting, Moon was shocked to see he was on the verge of tears.

"Please…don't go!" He gasped out.

As she felt herself going all the way, she let out a sad smile.

"I'll come back…I promise." And she winked through her blurry vision. Her head went through, leaving nothing but empty space. Mars stared in terror at the spot where her leader had previously been hanging.

"Come back…" her words fell quietly, just as footsteps became known to her from down the corridor. Mars stood, seething.

"The Nega-scum that took my leader will pay!" Her hands began to glow. Mamorou reached in the air for a rose and stopped.

Why hadn't he transformed into Tuxedo Mask? He'd felt Sailor Moon transform, sure enough, but her link was calm, and peaceful, so he supposed it was just for show. But still… With a cry of anguish, he focused on her face, so filled with light. Mars looked back, and found herself face-to-face with a very angry Tuxedo Mask.

"M—Mamorou-san?" she managed. He nodded.

"Sorry I couldn't help before. Come on, let's get rid of these creatures before we go find Sailor Moon."

Mars had been dancing with glee at her discovery before she remembered the footsteps.

"Right." The two stood in a battle ready position, and waited.

Whose footsteps are those? Is Usa dead? Where's the other senshi? Where are they? Teehee! I love cliffies, don't you? Hmm…my spell check hates me. I hate those little squiggly lines under everything…


	6. Of Dumb Blondes and Evil Rulers

Sorry I haven't updated in a while, major writer's block. Hope you like this next chapter!

CHAPPIE…er, I forget…

'WAKE UP!'

_What was that for?_

'Venus is trying to wake you.'

_You've been nothing but mean to me since the day we met!_

'Remind you of a certain someone? Seriously, Venus—,'

_Look, can't you just be nice to me for once?_

'But Venus—,'

_I don't care what Venus says! Just be nice to me! What do you have to say to that?_

'…You're an idiot.'

…

'Oh, and Venus is trying to wake you, so open your eyes!'

Sailor Moon groaned and did so. Above her she could see her friend's worried eyes as she shook her.

"Oh, Usa, thank the Gods you're ok!"

Moon sat up, and rubbed at her head.

"Urgh. What happened, V-babe?"

Venus gestured towards the wall, which seemed the to be made of the same rocky substance as the one on the other side.

"I had woken up all by myself in this dark room, and I heard Jupiter and Mercury going ahead of me. I called out, but I heard this door slamming and by the time I found it they were gone! I had to go past these sleeping bats, and then when I was leaning against this wall, it swung open and I fell in here!"

"Is that what happened to me?"

Venus shook her head.

"No. I was leaning against the wall, and wishing I were back home, on Venus, when all of a sudden the wall seemed to melt. I suppose it was because of my power, but the dark energy in here made it act horribly, dragging you in! Gomen!"

Moon waved her off as she stood.

"No need to apologize. Let's just find our way out of here, ok?"

The two blondes latched onto each other and began to walk.

* * *

Meanwhile, Mars and Kamen were currently facing an enemy they had yet to see. 

"I'm tired of waiting." Mars muttered. "Mars Fire Surround!"

The flames shot forward and farther into the hallway. There was a pause, before someone screamed.

"Damnit Mars!"

The fire senshi sweat dropped.

"Er, Jupiter? Is that you?"

The Jovian senshi turned the hallway, with slightly damp Mercury behind her. Jupiter was shaking with rage.

"You couldn't wait to see who it was before you tried to kill us?"

Mercury pursed her lips.

"I was only lucky in the matter that I was in front, and threw a Bubbles Blast in front of us. Jupiter, however, is upset at the loss of her hair…"

The angry lightning senshi turned to show her singed off ends.

"If I weren't so concerned about getting out of here alive, I'd hurt you right now! Now, come on, let's get ourselves out of here!"

Mercury held a hand up.

"Hold on. I notice Venus and Sailor Moon are not here, and why is Tuxedo Kamen here?"

Mars sighed, and a worried look lit up in her eyes.

"We have a few things to tell you."

* * *

Venus and Sailor Moon were currently undecided about where to go. They had encountered several different twists and turns, and were now currently stuck at a fork in the road. 

"I vote we sit and wait for them to find us. This isn't working!" complained Moon.

Venus chewed on a strand of hair thoughtfully.

"If at first you don't succeed, find another path that will take you back and eventually lead you to Beryl."

Moon, at her wits end, turned to her friend.

"Gods above, Venus, even I could have gotten that one!"

The senshi of love flounced happily down the left path.

"Too bad you didn't get it before me!"

Sailor Moon took a moment to compose herself before she followed, wondering why in Selene's name she couldn't have found Mercury instead.

* * *

"So what're we going to do now?" Jupiter asked. 

She and the others were currently walking towards a huge wooden door. Mercury and Jupiter had been stunned by the news that their leader may have been gone, but had not broken down, thinking there might have been a chance.

They had been oddly silent about their discovery that Mamorou was Tuxedo Kamen, but when Mars had assured them that he had no idea who they were, they had resumed stony features once more.

Now, as they pushed open the door that could take them to their freedom or their death, similar thoughts of hope were shared.

"Welcome, senshi brats."

And then dashed against the stone walls.

* * *

"Venus, look!" Sailor Moon pointed to the large door in front of them. "It could be our way out! Lets go!" 

Venus smiled and pushed open the heavy door. The two stood out of the view of anyone inside.

"Shouldn't you go in?" Venus asked.

Moon shook her head tightly. "I'll leave those honors to you!" Before either of them could take a step, a voice startled them.

"If you're going to come in, come in!"

Venus peeked inside, as did Moon, and their faces paled. Beryl was sitting on her throne, and next to her, the senshi and Tuxedo Kamen were tied to posts.

The senshi and Kamen had felt similar head rushes as they saw Sailor Moon's head peek around the doorway, but apprehension soon settled in as they realized Beryl had nothing but evil planned for her.

Venus smiled. "You go first, oh Gracious Leader!"

Moon mock frowned. "Of course not! You may have the pleasure!

"I insist!"

"As do I!"

"Come now, it is only fair!"

"Yes, well I always get the glory! Here's your chance to prove yourself!"

"I said YOU!"

"And I YOU!"

There was a loud crash, followed by several battle cries and bright bursts of light. The occupants inside of the room watched, fascinated, as one the door flew backwards when hit by a wayward Crescent Beam Smash.

"Come on, you dumb blonde!"

"You're blonde too!"

"So you agree? You are dumb?"

Their banter sounded loud, before there was a sudden lapse in the yelling and screaming. Moments later, a very tattered but triumphant pair of senshi hobbled in the room.

Venus waved around a piece of ripped paper, and she held her henshin pen in one hand.

"We signed a treaty! We both go in!"

There was a pregnant pause, before Beryl held up a hand.

"It will be a pleasure to rid the world of some of its inhabitants, even though they may have destroyed her far before I had the chance."

Venus looked mad. "That's not right!"

'This would be a really good time for me to say gomen for all the times I've teased you!'

_Why so?_

'…Gods above, you really are stupid, aren't you? How the hell did you get to be a princess?'

Beryl smirked wickedly before letting out a single, pure burst of energy wide enough to decimate the both of them.

I love cliffies; I love cliffies, don't you too? Don't you too? (Sing that) Signing off, bye minna-chan!


	7. Of Popcorn and Jerry Jerry!

……….If you're gonna flame me for taking so long, do it now! Ok, this will be really good, but I'm writing it at 10:00 at night, so if it's sorta confuzzling, gomen!

Disclaimer: Only in my soda and caffeine induced dreams will Sailor Moon ever be mine.

"MARS FIRE SURROUND!"

Beryl had pulled away her energy and focused it on Venus and Sailor Moon, and Mars had felt it. The shackles holding her and the others melted off, although Jupiter did quite a bit of hopping when the hot metal touched her wrists.

"My generals, come to me!" Beryl had cried out. The dark lords had appeared, and glared at all of them.

Tuxedo Kamen, the farthest up the wall, fell last, and landed on top of Kunzite. The two men struggled wildly, as the generals and senshi watched, fascinated.

"EEEEEEWWWWWWWWW! Tuxedo Kamen, you're gay?" There was complete and total silence.

Sailor Moon turned to face Sailor Venus, and frowned.

"V-babe, I worry constantly."

"I'm not gay!" Tuxedo Kamen, who was undoubtedly sick of all these people making fun of him, called out.

"So why do you wear the tux?" Zoicite smirked. "I mean, you shrug off all the girls, so it can't be for them!"

Sailor Moon paused then nodded.

"It's true you know. You never give them a second glance." Then her eyes filled up with tears, and she walked over to him, ignoring Kunzite.

"How could you lead me on like that? I thought you loved me!"

Tuxedo Kamen blinked, at a loss for words. Sailor Moon continued.

"And all those times Mars and me would try and follow you, you always found out, and when we asked why you didn't want us to know, you said it would jeopardize your safety! Is it because you're gay (A/N: I have no issues with gays, MichiHaru are one of my favorite couples, it just seemed to fit into the plot.)?"

"It's not that bad, being gay and all." Zoicite said thoughtfully.

"I knew it!" Jadeite pointed an accusatory finger at him. "You are gay! And you and Kunzite are together!"

"What are you talking about?" Kunzite barked from his position. "I had a girlfriend!"

"Had is past tense, Kunz." Nephrite said calmly.

"Stop that!" Jadeite turned to him.

"Stop what?" Nephrite didn't flinch.

"You're always so calm, Damnit! Scream for once, cry!"

With all seriousness, Nephrite turned to Jadeite, and his eyes glistened. Jadeite smiled smugly, until Nephrite spoke.

"Do you cry at night, poor baby? D'you wanna tissue for your issue?"

"AARGH!" Jadeite flung himself against the offending general, who took a step to the side, causing Jadeite to hit Mars. She shrieked, and punched him.

"Hey! By node!" he held the bleeding appendage delicately. (His nose!) Upset, he threw a bolt of dark energy at Mars, who dodged it. Jupiter, also rather mad at Nephrite, aimed a bolt of lightning at him. He dodged it, and calmly began to attack her.

Kunzite and Tuxedo Kamen resumed their fight.

Mercury watched Zoicite as he stood before her, twirling a delicate pink rose in his hand. "So, Zoicite. Should we not fight?"

Zoicite sniffed. "And ruin this great hair of mine? Please!" he peered closely at Mercury. "You, my dear girl, look like you could use a makeover. That blue color is the most awful thing I've seen since Michael Jackson forgot to get his hair permed!"

Mercury's face grew red. "Mercury Bubbles Blast!" Zoicite shrieked as half his hair froze, then fell off and burst upon contact with the floor.

"You'll pay for that!" And he ran for her.

* * *

"Pass the popcorn, would you V-babe?" 

"Certainly, Sailor Moon. This is just like Jerry Springer, isn't it?"

"Yeah." Moon sighed. "D'you think we should be the bodyguards, to make sure they don't kill each other?"

Venus replied carefully. "Well, we do want the generals dead. And the girls are really strong, and it looks like Tuxedo Kamen's got Kunzite down pat. Beryl seems preoccupied cheering them on. We can wait."

Moon stretched lazily and took a handful of popcorn from the bowl in between her and Venus.

"Too bad he's gay. I really liked him."

"You could always go with Mamorou-san?"

"You think? Wait! V-babe, you know how he doesn't have a girlfriend?"

Venus nodded. "Yah."

"And although girls practically worship him, he ignores them!"

Venus' eyes lit up. "So he must be gay too!"

Moon could hardly contain her excitement. "Which means Mamorou-san is Tuxedo Kamen! They not only look alike, they both act the same too!"

Venus sighed. "All the good guys are usually taken or gay…"

Moon nodded. "Makes you wonder, don't it?"

"Maybe we should get in there."

"Yeah…look at that! Mars is really flaming Jadeite!" Both girls smiled, and said, in unison:

"She so likes him."

With a reluctant moan, they slid off the chunk of stone they had been sitting on and prepared to join the fray.

Wow. I never knew I could be that crazy…so review, minna-chan! 


	8. Of Gayness and Of High Winds

I realize I haven't updated in a long time, but…wow, I have no excuse. I was just being lazy…heh. Ah well, here it is.

Disclaimer: Why am I doing this again? (Lawyer shows her a piece of paper showing a lawsuit fining her for thirty thousand yen.) Oh. Sailor Moon isn't mine.

"Life sort of sucks." Sailor Moon groaned miserably as she landed on her behind, and rose again. Beryl was leering at her in a way that freaked her out of her wits, but she couldn't stop now!

Mars and Jadeite had ended up knocking themselves unconscious, and Mercury had accidentally frozen herself as well as Zoicite.

Venus was currently tangled up in her chain and hanging from the ceiling, flashing the people below her.

Jupiter was infuriated with Nephrite, and had ended up beating him senseless. Promptly before losing consciousness, he had pushed her backwards into a puddle of water, shorting her powers out. She too, had succumbed to the darkness.

Tuxedo Kamen had been rather put off about the gay comments, and was sulking horribly as Kunzite had him locked inside a dark bubble. If he so much as moved an inch, he would be shocked.

Sailor Moon looked over at him unhappily. "How come all the senshi got their shittenou?"

Tuxedo Kamen seethed. "It's not my fault! You and Venus just rushed in and distracted everyone!"

Sailor Moon dodged another energy bolt from Beryl. "Look, baka, the least you can do is help!"

"Baka?"

She whirled to face him, then as an afterthought, ran to the other side of the bubble so Beryl couldn't hit her. "Yeah, I know it's you Mamo-baka!"

He looked stunned. "Usagi? Is that you?"

She nodded unhappily, and he smiled inwardly as he realized that both of the people he loved were the same person.

"…Too bad you're gay."

"WHAT!"

Sailor Moon couldn't say anything more as Beryl suddenly appeared, and conjured up a black lightning bolt. It hit her squarely in the chest, and she flew back.

"G—Gods…" she gasped out as she hit the wall opposite the room. Beryl covered the ground between her and her opponent rather quickly, and sneered.

"Pathetic. Look at your senshi now, moon brat! They are dead!"

Sailor Moon winced. "Sogenlesser…"

"What?" Beryl leaned in closer.

"I said, so are your generals." And she swung a fist at Beryl's nose. It hit her head-on, and Moon cheered silently as she staggered up.

"Come on, Nega-scum, let's see you beat me now!" Beryl tenderly touched her nose, which was bleeding freely, and cackled.

"Fine then, brat! You asked for it!" The redhead turned around and raised her arms to the heavens. She uttered an unearthly shriek, and a fast and hard wind picked up. Several black shadows appeared around her, covering her up.

Sailor Moon was having trouble staying on the ground with the entire air stream, and screamed as she was abruptly lifted in the air. Her body rose higher, and higher, until she was spinning around Venus.

"Help me!" she cried. Venus held out her hands, and then glowered.

"You're too far! And my chain is tangled!" The wind suddenly stopped, and Sailor Moon screamed once more as she began to fall.

Venus suddenly lunged, catching onto her hand but bouncing back in the process, causing the chain to unravel rather quickly.

The two senshi clutched at each other and screeched as they began to fall.

Very short chapter, I'm sorry, but I have school and crud. (sighs) I swear, longer chapter next time. And does anyone think I should continue this into the R season?


	9. Of Crystals and Of Last Wishes

Erlack… I was reading this over and got very, very mad at myself. How dare I write such cruddy chapters filled with nonsensical things? Actually, that wouldn't be so bad but I was very upset with the last two, so I have tried as hard as possible (Eh, not really. I had homework on the first day back! What's with that?) To make this chapter agreeable.

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon, Takeuchi-san does.

Sailor Moon held onto Sailor Venus tightly as both of them fell, the wind whistling shrilly in their ears. A single tear fell from her eye as she cried, and she did not notice it begin to crystallize.

_Oh, Gods, I'm going to die!_

'Eh.'

_What's wrong with you? You're dying too!_

'Eh.'

_Are you kidding me? We're 500 freakin' feet in the air, and all you say is eh?_

'Listen, you die, I die, you get reborn, I get reborn.'

_We don't have the freaking crystal this time!_

'SAVE YOURSELF WOMAN! DO NOT DANGLE HERE AND CRY LIKE A DAMN BABY!'

Sailor Moon opened her eyes, searching for a way to stop them from falling. The ground was coming up quickly, and she was too far into the room to grab onto a window ledge. Then she saw the crystal, floating gently and just out of her reach.

"Sailor Moon, can you reach it?" Venus had seen it too, and was desperately shaking at her friend.

Moon reached out, and her fingers just brushed the tip of it. She looked down and a sob escaped her throat as she realized that she would hit the ground in no more than a few seconds.

"Venus, give me the chain!" The senshi of love wasted no time in handing her the chain, which was still tied around her waist. Moon took a deep breath, and glanced down once more.

She could clearly see Beryl's face, leering up at her.

"NOW!"

She lunged away from Venus, and grabbed for the ginzouishou, just as they hit the ground. There was an astounding blast of light, and Beryl and Kunzite had to shield their eyes, as did Tuxedo Kamen.

When they could look back again, no one said a word. In Sailor Moon's place, a young, beautiful woman with long blonde hair and big blue eyes stared grimly back at them. She wore a strapless white dress, trimmed with gold, and before her she held the bright orb, the ginzouishou. Behind her, Venus was floating and unconscious.

"Princess Serenity…" The words fell from Tuxedo Kamen's mouth before he could stop them, and Serenity looked over at him.

"She has wronged us, Endymion." Tuxedo Kamen stumbled back slightly as his memories were restored.

"NO!"

Serenity turned to Beryl, who had screamed the words.

"This is NOT how it is supposed to end! I refuse to have this happen again! You will die! Die!" And she began to fling out as much energy as she possibly could.

Serenity held her ground, and retaliated with her own pure energy. She pushed harder at her reserves, until the ginzouishou was pulsating with power. Beryl's last shriek was cut off as the light invaded her every senses, blinding her and everyone else there.

_I wish…I wish we were normal again._

'Don't we all…'

When the light finally faded, the castle that had been home to legions of evil minions was gone, as were the people who had been inside.

Now, minna, don't suck your teeth and think this is the end. Don't think I've forgotten about Motoki and Mina's bet. But you'll have to wait until the next chapter for that!


	10. Of Agents 007 and 8

All humor seems to have left me, but I will try desperately to finish this fanfic.

Disclaimer: If I owned Sailor Moon, this fic wouldn't be posted…ever.

"Minako-chan…this isn't safe, is it?"

"…"

"Minako-chan!"

"Listen, Usagi-chan, it may not be safe, but it's essential to your well-being!" The blonde turned around and put her night vision goggles back against her eyes. "Besides, you can't tell me you're not having fun!"

The two were dressed in their senshi uniforms, which had been dyed black. Minako had assured Usagi that the dye was temporary, and Luna and Artemis would not kill them and slice them apart with their claws of doom. They had painted black streaks on their cheeks and donned black beanies.

Usagi was afraid only because Minako had banned them from using their powers. She claimed it would alert their victim they were there. Now they dangled from steel lines, next to a window.

"Can you see anything, Minako-chan?" Usagi asked.

Minako sighed. "We have code-names, remember? Come on, you agreed to go on this mission; the least you could do is go through with it! Or you can leave, but I'm keeping the steel lines."

Usagi gulped and looked below. They were eighteen floors up, and she didn't relish the thought of climbing down without a safety harness.

"Fine…Eye-Candy. Can we finish this soon?" Minako checked once more, and nodded.

"Man-Hunk is asleep, I repeat, he is asleep. We'll go in now. Are you ready, Hot-Mama?"

Usagi put the weird device she still wasn't sure about against the window. Minako had ordered her to use it, and even though she was the princess, Usagi still felt… inferior to her. Maybe it had something to do with her favorite teddy bear dangling from a chain just above a piranha tank in the pet store. Damn Minako.

"Roger that Eye-Candy. What do I do?"

"Press the little red button, and stand back."

Usagi coughed. There were several little red buttons, and every one of them was blinking on the disc-like apparatus.

"The one with the blinking lights, Hot-Mama!"

Usagi stared at her for a moment, before randomly pressing a button and moving back. The disc stuck to the window for a moment, before a red light flashed from underneath it. Minako caught it right before it fell away, a good size chunk of the window coming with it.

"Cool…" Usagi, momentarily distracted, whispered.

Minako winked and stuck a hand through the window. She flicked something back, and slid the window open. The two swung inside and landed softly on the carpet, detaching their harnesses.

"There he is…" Minako spoke softly.

Usagi sighed as she saw a tuft of black hair peeking up from the covers. She snuck over and pulled the sheets back. Mamorou slept on, unaware of his visitors.

Usagi turned away from her study of his face when she heard a rustling noise. "Minako!" she hissed, "What do you think you're doing! Those are his drawers!"

Minako held up some boxers and grinned. "Yes they are!"

Usagi rolled her eyes and walked over. She grabbed onto the boxers and stuffed them back into the drawer. "You don't touch his stuff! He'll realize we've been here and then we're screwed! You hear me!"

But Minako wasn't listening. Rather, she was staring at something open-mouthed.

"What's so—," Usagi began, but stopped when she saw what Minako was staring at. "Oh, Gods…" The two exchanged a glance, before Usagi snapped up the object and ran to the window. She strapped on her safety harness and stuck a foot out of the window. She stopped when she realized Minako wasn't following her.

"Hot-Mama! He has black silk boxers! You know what this means. Don't you? He—,"

Fortunately, whatever revealing piece of information Minako was about to release was cut off when Usagi suddenly grabbed her hand and jumped out of the window. Minako's muffled shriek gave her great pleasure, although she did not admit it. As they swayed outside of the building, a huffing Minako attempted to clip on her safety harness before Usagi's grip gave up.

"You enjoyed that, didn't you!"

"No."

"Ooh, all the trouble I go through for you and this is what you do to thank me! You're an evil princess! Bad girl! Bad, bad girl!"

"I'm not a dog, Eye-Candy."

Before the other blonde could sufficiently berate her, Usagi let go. Minako almost screamed before she realized that she was all strapped in.

"Grr…"

Realizing the danger of the situation, Usagi held up her hands in the international symbol of peace.

"Heh, how about we get ice cream tomorrow? My treat!" This did not appease the sailor senshi of love, as she swung dangerously close to her leader.

"The movies! My treat!"

"I'll kill you…"

Usagi didn't like the homicidal gleam that seemed to be stuck in Minako's eyes. "Er, I'll go with you to the beach for a month so we can check out the hot guys!"

"So, Hot-Mama, let's get going!"

Usagi opened one eye and found herself staring at nothing.

"Come on, slowpoke!"

She glanced up and saw Minako, perched on the edge of the building and busily removing her equipment. With a relieved sigh, Usagi climbed up afterwards. She had a busy day tomorrow.

O.o What am I going to make the senshi do? What was the item found in Mamorou's drawer? What was that information Minako was going to reveal? Where are the other senshi? What about the generals? Is this a senshi general fic? Where did Minako get that disc? Will Mr. Snookums ever be freed from Minako's chain? What is with all these awful questions? Find out in the next update, which might be the last!


	11. Of Angry Senshi and Puzzling Clinchers

Quick chapter, to clear up some mistakes. The next two will probably be the last ones.

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon, people's. Get over it…I did!

"So…what could it possible mean?"

"Minako-chan, do we really have to do this?"

"If what you and Usagi-chan found is real, then we've got a clincher."

"Come on, you guys, this is so wrong!"

"I would expect that from Ami-chan, Usa, not from you!"

"But Mako-chan—,"

"Silencio!" Minako's strong order cut through the argument. "Now, let us review. Last week, we were facing a life and death battle with Beryl. During this time, we found out Usagi-chan was the princess, and got several of our memories restored."

"The next thing we know," Makoto continued. "Is that we woke up in our homes, in our beds, and everything had been seemingly set back to before we were senshi. Thankfully, we remembered anything."

"Then the two dumb blondes of the group," Rei started off, ignoring the exclamations. "Decided to find out if Mamorou-san remembered, or if he at least still crushed on Usagi."

"You have no right to speak of Usagi and I that way!" Minako cried. "Just because Usa's not as smart as the rest of us doesn't mean you have to pick on her!"

"Yeah!" Usagi joined in, before stopping for a moment. "Hey!"

But Ami had already picked up the item on the table in front of them. "And after searching his room, they found this final piece to the puzzle."

In her fingers, she held small box. Inside of it was a picture of Usagi, holding up the V is for Victory sign and smiling, a picture she had taken almost two weeks ago at the park. On top of the picture was Usagi's locket, polished and clean.

'So he loves her." Rei stated.

"Geez, Pyro, thank the Gods you figured that one out! Otherwise, we would be stuck on this one for weeks." Usagi, still sore from the dumb blonde joke, bit back.

The all glanced at Rei, whose face was steadily turning redder. "Don't call me Pyro. I told you not to call me Pyro."

"Oh, I'm so sorry." Usagi sneered. "Then maybe I should give you your real name: SA."

"And what," Rei seethed, "Does that mean?"

Usagi stood on her toes, ready to run as she answered. "Serial Arsonist."

Several fire balls, transformations, and ropes later, Usagi and Rei were tied and gagged to separate chairs across the room.

"Ok, so what do we do?" Minako tried her best to resume the meeting.

"I vote we confront Mamorou-san and see what happens. We have been avoiding him lately."

"No duh! That's cause Usagi refuses to see him!" Minako rolled her eyes. "Anyways, these two are so stubborn. We can't do anything for them, I believe."

Ami smiled, a tight, forced one. "Do you think we should put Rei and Usagi to sleep? Rei's burning through the ropes and I think Usagi's summoning the ginzouishou."

"Not now, Ami-chan." Minako waved a hand at her and addressed Makoto. "You'll never believe what I found in his drawer."

"What?" Makoto leaned forward eagerly.

"Black boxers!"

"No!" Makoto gasped and her eyes lit up. "Were they silk?"

"As sure as in the Cha-Cha Slide we go left, right, and hop forward! (A/N: Sorry, I couldn't resist that.)"

Makoto chewed on her cheek thoughtfully. "You know what this means, don't you?" Minako nodded.

"It means—," But her words were cut off as a fireball flew by, barely grazing her head.

"I'LL KILL YOU, YOU LITTLE—," Rei screamed as she ran fro Usagi, who had been making rude gestures for a while.

Usagi narrowly avoided the angry miko, and jumped onto the nearest high place, which just happened to be Makoto's head.

"I'm your princess! I can have you beheaded for that you know!"

But Rei merely jumped on top of her, forcing them all to fall in a great heap. Minako crouched in a corner with Ami, until familiar cries startled them.

"MARS STAR POWER!"

"JUPITER STAR POWER!"

"MOON COSMIC POWER!"

In a flash, three Sailor senshi were tumbling about, each trying desperately to gain the other hand.

"For self defense." Ami whispered. Minako nodded. The two henshined quietly, as Mercury analyzed the situation, trying to find a way to get them to stop.

That was, until Jupiter was suddenly thrown back and landed on her mini-computer. The senshi of nature merely jumped back into the fray, but Mercury stared at her broken machinery.

"You broke my computer."

"Eh, Mercury-chan?" Venus stepped back as the senshi of ice raised her hands.

"You broke my computer! SHINE AQUA ILLUSION!" In a moment, the senshi trio had several of their body parts frozen. In the heat of the moment, however, they simply broke through it.

Mercury was livid. "YOU BROKE MY COMPUTER!" she cried, and jumped into the battle.

Venus watched for a moment, at a loss, then looked down at the wrecked gadget. "I thought she had extra's in her subspace pocket…oh well." The senshi of love sat down, conjured up some popcorn, and began to munch contentedly.

"Hey…this is better than Jerry!"

Insane is my middle name! Well actually, it's…oops, got off topic there. Hope you liked this!


	12. Of Even Angrier Senshi and Hidden Camera

Ah, since my muse has come back, I've gotten about a hundred more reviews (Well…maybe only twenty, but what do you expect?) than last time! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon isn't mine…I wouldn't really care, if it weren't for the fact that Mamo-chan came with the rights.

Usagi limped into the Crown, still sore from her battle. Behind her came Mako, who was on crutches, and Ami, who was sporting a cast on her right arm. Rei's face had taken what seemed to be a permanent red tinge to it, and had a bandage wrapped around her head. Minako, the only uninjured one, smiled gleefully as she skipped after them.

"Hey, Motoki-kun! Can we all have milkshakes, please?"

The arcade owner nodded, and after a few wary glances at the girls, went to the back, Usagi flopped down on a chair.

"So why'd you call us here, Minako-chan?"

Minako grinned wickedly. "Maybe I want to see another fight!" She shook her head as they all stood, henshin wands in hand.

"No, not with me! But it was just a joke anyway! What I really want to talk about is Mamorou-san and Usagi-chan. How are we going to get them together?"

"Cheese and rice, I don't want to do this again!" Usagi screeched. They stared at her.

"Cheese and rice?" Mako smirked. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Usagi shrugged. "You can't say Jesus Christ. It's sacrilegious, and cheese and rice is better."

"Since when were you religious, Odango? You only like it cause it deals with food." Rei muttered under her breath. Before another brawl could break out, Ami held up her hand, winced as she realized it was the one in the cast, then held up the other one.

"Really, you guys, Usagi-chan and Mamorou-san obviously belong together, there's no doubt about that, but the question is: How do we get them together?"

Minako smiled. "Simple. He has black boxers."

Makoto grinned widely. "_Silk_ black boxers."

"WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?" Usagi cried, slamming her hands on the table. "IF MAMOROU-SAN HAS SILK BLACK BOXERS IN HIS DRAWER, AND IF I WANT TO GO OUT WITH HIM, THEN I THINK I SHOULD KNOW WHAT IT MEANS!"

There was complete and utter silence.

"Sure, announce it to the world, Odango." Rei snorted, and Usagi cracked.

"That's it! Come here, Pyro!" There was a loud scream, and they were both under the table. The remaining three senshi, even Mako, lifted their feet up so as to avoid them.

"You know, I really don't feel like doing anything this time." Mako sighed. "I mean, if Usagi-chan had waited, we would've told her what the boxers meant."

"People these days…so impatient." Minako agreed.

Ami was about to put her two cents in, when she suddenly let a foot slip, and was soon lost under the counter.

"Do you think we should save her?" Mako asked carefully. Minako peered down below, then quickly lifted her head up.

"We have to wait for Usagi to cool down first. She's getting so violent these days. Let's see if she's calm." She looked down again, and whispered, "Black silk boxers."

Minako scrambled back as Usagi emerged from underneath the table, her eyes wild, and her hair was matted with what looked like burnt marble.

Calmly, she placed her hands on Minako wrist, and looked into her eyes. "If you want me to date Mamorou-san, you have to tell me what the boxers mean."

"You want to date me, Odango?"

Once more, silence reigned supreme. Every single pair of eyes, which had previously been drawn to the battle raging at the booth, now turned to the newcomer. Mamorou stood, looking for all the world like he was innocent, with his hands in his pockets and a sly grin on his face. Usagi released Minako immediately.

'Don't do what I think you're gonna do!'

_So you're back. Oh joy._

'Listen, Usagi-chan, I realize he's not the best guy in the world, but he's your soul-mate and all that jazz!'

Usagi's hands itched to wrap around Mamorou's neck, and she slid towards him. "You."

The single word instilled more fear in Mamorou then he had ever felt before. Well…maybe once. He moved back, as he remembered the first time Usagi had that wild gleam in her eyes.

'Usagi-chan, this could end up bad for you!'

"Why did you do this to me?" She hissed. "Every time you look at me, my heart is thumping (A/N: My little cousin just informed me those are the lyrics to a Britney Spears song, and though I regret deeply using words that aren't meant to be in this (I don't hate Brit, that song I hate) I refuse to change it.) like it's being operated by a trigger happy bunny!"

Mamorou gulped. "Um… Gomen nasai?"

"No sorry's accepted, Mamorou-san!" She cried, before jumping on top of him. He rolled down to the ground, and tried desperately to move her away.

"Odango—,"

"I'll kill you!" she shrieked, and he decided this was not a good way to approach the matter at all.

"Usagi-chan," didn't seem to work either, so he mustered up the courage to call her something he had only called her in his dreams.

"Usako."

The response was instantaneous. Usagi's eyes widened, and a look of disbelief crossed her face. She stopped, just as she was about to punch Mamorou's pretty little face in.

"What did you call me?"

He locked eyes with her. "Usako."

"But—but you couldn't—,"

"Couldn't what?" He grabbed her wrist, and she let him. "I guess the truth's out now, Usako. I love you."

And in the next moment, she had leaned down and captured his lips in her own. The senshi, battered and bruised except for, once more, Minako, cheered silently.

'You know, maybe your ideas aren't half bad!'

"I wish I could have filmed this!" Mako sighed regretfully. Rei nudged her, and pointed to Minako, who had removed the camera from her purse so she could film freely.

"You've been filming us!" Mako howled. "Since when?"

Minako, happily caught up in the results of their plans, shrugged. "Since the thing with the dark lords. It was quite entertaining, and I refused to miss another moment like this. The first one I made won first prize for Tokyo's funniest home videos! That's a hundred dollar prize!"

Ami growled, and they inched back. "You mean to tell us you filmed our private lives and got money for it, then didn't even bother splitting it up?" Minako nodded absentmindedly as she set the camera up on the table so it could capture every moment.

"Sure! And the best part of it is, I bought myself enough make-up to last me three lifetimes with it!"

The poor blonde never got to see the blunette henshin, until it was too late and she was stranded in a headlock. Mako was trying frantically to stop them, as they were on her injured leg.

* * *

Motoki reassured himself as he capped the strawberry drinks. He was sure the girls hadn't been arguing amongst themselves or had been abused. Usagi had probably had a major klutz attack! Nothing wrong could happen. 

He smiled gleefully as he thought of the deal between him and Minako. He was sure to win. He'd even invited Mamorou over, and had prepared to launch into an outrageous story about how Usagi was moping over the fact that he might not love her. The poor guy! He would runt o comfort her of course, and Motoki would be 500 yen richer!

He whistled cheerfully as he balanced the milkshakes carefully on a tray, and pushed the door open. What he saw stopped him in his tracks.

The arcade's inhabitants were rooting on a corner booth, where Ami had Minako on her back and was pulling on her arm, as Mako waved her arms above her head in pain. Mamorou and Usagi were going at it on the floor, and Rei seemed to be burning the napkins from the dispenser.

Motoki was unconscious before his head hit the floor.

I liked this one. Well, next chapter's the last one, I think. Tell me what you think, minna-chan!


	13. Of Happy Endings and NotSo Happy Ones

I would just like to say, I could never have finished this fic without the support of all my reviewers. Come one everyone! Do a few steps from the Cha-Cha slide; it's like a funner way to pat yourself on the back! By the way, just to clear up why I don't really do individual reviews, it's kinda cause it centers on certain people, and I want to answer everyone and thank them too, so it's better to just thank you wonderful people all at once than to leave someone out. So here it is, one more time: **THANK YOU SO MUCH!**

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon isn't mine; so writing fan fiction is the closest I can ever get to her being mine.

Usagi smiled as she skipped down the sidewalk. All was right in her world. In her hand, she clutched an empty box of chocolates, which she discarded on her way home.

She had just visited Motoki at his house. He had a rather nasty bump on his head, and she had eaten the chocolates with him. She had gone with Minako, but the bubbly blonde had insisted she stay there, a request Usagi had let go. She had someone waiting for her…

"Mamo-chan!" She called, at the raven-headed man. He was standing by the park's entrance.

_He looks…delicious!_

'God, are you going to eat him or something?'

_Nyah! No, it's just a descriptive word! What are you doing here anyways? There's nothing wrong in my life!_

'Exactly. I've come to tell you I'm leaving.'

_What! No, wait, I didn't mean it! Don't go, I need you!_

'Sorry, darling, I was only here until you found guidance, and it seems now that you know you're the princess, you have all the guidance you need.'

Usagi's eyes almost teared up, as Mamorou approached her.

_I'll miss you…_

'You've got a hot guy! You'll forget about me in a moment. Ciao, principessa! I'm off to Italy to find my next client!'

As her conscience took leave, Mamorou greeted her with a kiss. A single tear dripped down Usagi's face, before she wiped it away.

"What's wrong Usako?" Mamorou asked, looking concerned.

"Nothing you should worry about." She answered. "Everything's just fine." And she laid a tender butterfly kiss on his nose, before grabbing his hand and rushing towards the movies.

* * *

Minako sighed as she sat down in a chair beside a rumpled bed. "So…we come to this." 

Motoki lay on the bed, and folded both of his hands on his stomach. On his head, a white bandage hung like a sweatband.

"Who made the first move?"

The two looked poised, ready to make any argument. Minako started. "It was obviously Usa! If she hadn't started choking him, he would have never said anything!"

"Yeah, but if Mamorou hadn't called her 'Usako', she would've never responded!" Minako had made the mistake of letting Motoki see her videotape of the events at the Crown. She fingered her neck nervously where Ami had grabbed her, and sighed.

"Obviously, we're not making very good headway."

Motoki shook his head, wincing slightly. "So then, what do we do? We have to have solid evidence!"

Instantly, Minako brightened. "To the tape!"

In thirty seconds flat, the zealous blonde had wheeled a TV and VCR into the room, and held the videotape just inside. Before letting it go all the way, she looked directly at Motoki.

"No matter what we see on this tape, we'll still remain friends?" Motoki nodded.

"Sure, hai, friends."

Minako pushed the tape in, and immediately it started when Mamorou walked in. As soon as Usagi had him in her grasp, Minako pressed the slo-mo button.

The two blondes leaned in eagerly as Usagi's eyes widened, and the words became garbled. All that mattered now was the kiss…

PFHT!

The sound would remain forever in the imaginations of Motoki and Minako as the tape broke inside the VCR. Minako, upset, rounded on Motoki.

"You owe me 500 yen!"

"What!" Motoki sat up in bed, ignoring the head rush. "I owe you nothing! You cheating, lying—,"

Minako stamped to the edge of the bed. "Thieving, corrupt—," And before she knew what she was doing, she had leaned over and kissed Motoki.

(A/N: Haha! Bet no one saw that coming!)

The two stayed in the same position for a long, long time before Minako drew back, gasping.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have—,"

"No." Motoki cut her off, eyes sparkling. He made his voice a little hoarser, and rasped out. "I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse!"

Minako managed a weak smile. "What's that?"

Motoki's face suddenly turned serious. "We forget all about that 500 yen, if you give me 500 more kisses like that."

Minako hesitated for only a moment, before she leaned over and planted a firm kiss on his lips once more.

"Deal."

* * *

"What do you see? What do you see?" 

"They kissed! You owe me 700 yen, Rei-chan!"

"Ooh, shut off Mako! I thought Motoki would be the first, sure enough!"

"You guys, we shouldn't be doing this…"

"Shh! Ami-chan, be quiet!"

Ami sighed from her position on the ground, and looked up once more. Balancing precariously on a small ladder, Makoto and Rei held a small camcorder to the window of Motoki's apartment.

"Move, Mako, I can't see!"

"Move yourself, you fat pig, you're hogging all the space!"

For a moment, Rei forgot herself and gave a mighty shove to the girl next to her. In the next moment, both of them started to fall. Ami thought quickly.

"SHINE AQUA ILLUSION!"

The two girls were frozen, just under the window as a block of ice starting from the ground held them up. Sailor Mercury deftly caught the camera, and grinned.

"I think this tape should give me a lot of blackmail…" She giggled, and watched again as the two senshi fell in the camera's lens.

"I need to do this more often." The senshi of ice de-transformed and walked off. "They'll unfreeze later."

* * *

Somewhere, down deep below D-Point, where the earth was at it's coldest, four men fought viciously amongst themselves. 

"We would've won if you weren't so busy worrying about your stupid hair, Zoicite!"

"What about you, you pompous jerk! Jadeite, if you hadn't been ogling that girl's goods, and Nephrite hadn't been too busy checking his stupid stars, we could've beaten them!"

Nephrite snorted. "At least we ogle _girls_."

"Leave him alone." Kunzite wave a hand at them, and Jadeite immediately rounded on him.

"Ooh, protecting your girlfriend, are we now? Does he know that you were cheating on him with that masked wonder, Tuxedo Kamen?"

"Please, I am not gay."

"Do I mean so little to you?" Zoicite said, tears gathering in his eyes. "Why are you hiding our relationship?" Then his eyes brightened, then dimmed. "You're having an affair, on me, with the ENEMY! You sick pig!"

Kunzite blushed. "Zoicite, you don't understand—,"

Jadeite and Nephrite fell into hoots of laughter, before a loud, cold voice shut them all up.

"GODS ABOVE!" Beryl roared, sending them all spinning. "I heard hell was bad, but COME ON! I'm starting to wish I had let that sniveling moon brat heal me!"

"They started it, the idiots…" Jadeite muttered under his breath, causing them all to begin again.

Beryl covered her ears and sighed. "Where are those sailor senshi when you need them!"

That's it minna-chan! The whole fic, unless you want more! I'd be happy to oblige! But I hope you've enjoyed this, and I wish you all happy writings! Love much: ISSALEE 


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